Checking in – “hello” from a well woman

I haven’t talked much about my health lately cuz I haven’t had to.

But sooo much of my social media community is health peeps… Lymies who were in the trenches with me when I spent 3 years of my life with shifting and very serious forms of disability. I’m so grateful for all of you… there isn’t any other friendship like that friendship, forged by survival. That’s lifelong, DEEP connection right there.

I don’t want to pretend that health concerns are wholly gone from my life. They’re not. I AM well. I consider myself well. Most days I don’t think about Lyme disease. When people ask me to do things, I don’t wonder whether I’ll be able to. I act with confidence in my mental and physical abilities most the time. It’s a HUGE change from the way I lived my life 2014-2017.

There are some lingering things that are still not quite right. My thyroid is obviously still an issue – changing meds early this year fucked me up super badly. My body doesn’t convert T4 to T3 and I went really hypothyroid. That’s getting back under control now, as I switch back to T3 meds. I think being soooo hypothyroid for a couple months really threw off my cortisol reactions and depleted my adrenals. I’m working on that now so that energy levels, moods and physiological stress response symptoms are more even keeled. I also have multiple sclerosis. I am successfully off of “disease modifying” (immune suppressing) meds, but the relapse I had following mold exposure last summer makes me realize that’s something I have to keep an eye on still. Speaking more generally, I also have more aches and pains than I think the average 34 year old has. I have no question my inflammation levels are higher, and detox poorer.

To that end, my work isn’t “over” exactly. I still make choices every day to support my body. I am on antibiotics every other day of every other week (total 6 days out of the month). That seems to be keeping Lyme and bartonella in check for me. I know after my new spinal cord lesion last summer that mold is a real problem and may cause MS to flare up; I also know there’s some nasty toxigenic mold in my office at work. To protect myself from the damage of that, I take CSM as a binder to pull mold toxins out of my system every morning – that’s how I start every day (this cup of yellow goodness in this pic). I make up for my thyroid damage with replacement T3 hormone, and will do that for life, probably. In terms of detox and inflammation issues, I SHOULD be exercising and eating right to make my body happy. I have goals to improve both of these now… I fell off the wagon pretty hard during the hypothyroid induced depression I’m just now crawling out of.

But, in terms of my fight against Lyme disease & co-infections / co-toxicities, the fire seems to be out. The emergency is passed. I have flexibility to cheat a little more on things like rest and clean eating! I have cut my Lyme treatment cost from $2500 a month to more like $1000… this means I can play with the van, get the occasional mani/pedi or tattoo and, soon, rebuild my savings.

Most importantly, I have emotional bandwidth back. I can’t explain to the healthy folks who DISTRACTING it is to live with a physical, emotional and mental illness like Lyme & co, not to mention the overwhelming, crushing enormity of the financial and logistical burdens of getting well. My life now is a gift. I wake up EVERY DAY excited to soak in the richness of every experience that comes my way, because I CAN.

I am quiet on the subject of health because it is time for me to be quiet on the subject of health. Because that is the very best way for me to enjoy this gift. But I want you Lymies to know… I am still here. I am still with you. I am where so many of you are still headed. The view is lovely up here. I’m saving you a seat.

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